Wednesday, January 14, 2015

and it keeps marching on .....

God keeps giving me answers that say "it's time to try crazy new shit"!

This morning, I heard back from our district's EEO who investigated my claim of a "hostile work environment." After interviewing me, the principal, and the Director of Special Education, he determined their actions were not to be in violation of any EEO laws.

I am okay with that.

When the stress was so high I had an anxiety attack that left me unable to breathe, I prayed that God help me see the path he wanted me to go on.

I know that for me to leave my job of 21 years that I love, I was going to have to get answers I didn't want.  I was going to have to feel that administration was not going to support me.  I was going to have to reach a "F*** IT ALL" point!

I am okay with that.

Monday, I had our districts Behavior Health Professional come into my classroom to assist me with a child I am having great difficulty.  Reminder - I am a Behavior Support Program teacher, or Emotional/Behavioral Disorders Special Educator - if I'm having difficulty with a child, the child is VERY difficult!

After sending her data on this child, anecdotal notes/records, my Classroom Management Plan, and then sitting down talking with her about how I run the classroom.  She basically said that I'm doing everything correctly and as expected by the district in their Behavior Support Program classrooms.  That I modify as needed for individual needs of my students.  That when one thing doesn't work, I try something else.  There is nothing about my classroom management she would recommend I change.  NOTHING!  There are things she is going to recommend for THIS child, but had to go back to the office to come up with something - I am still waiting for suggestions.


  • I am doing my job correctly (she even said my room was an example of what to do in a Behavior Support Program classroom!);
  • I am told repeatedly that I have one of the hardest jobs in the districts;
  • I have a position that is hard to fill (one of my admin's joked  that she will hunt me down and drag me back if I ever quit...).
And yet?
  • "they" throw me to the wolves in a witch hunt and blame game when a parent makes false claims about me on a day I wasn't even in the classroom;
  • suggest I change positions mid year;
  • and continue to allow this parent to bad-mouth me.

I am okay with that.

I believe they think I 'need' my job and am a slave to it, and will do what ever they tell me to do to keep it!

I'm okay with that!

God knows that for me to leave I job I have had for 21 years, one that I am very successful at, and for the most part enjoy immensely, he's got to show me how crazy that job is.  He has to show me that when the rubber hits the pavement, administration will do everything to protect themselves and throw teachers to the wolves.

Sad, but true.

Now?  Do I attempt to apply for a Leave of Absence next year, or just resign?

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