Monday, January 12, 2015

Fork in the Road - Do I go Left or Right?


Yes, I know, it's been "forever" since I posted something.

The road of life has been rather bumpy recently.

Last summer, my mother was diagnosed to be in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's.  I have had a very stressful year at work, being assigned rather tough students in my Behavior Support Program classroom.   Because I am successful with these type of children, I am getting some harder cases in the district. November we learned my dad had passed away.

As if the road of life wasn't bumpy enough, I was handed a huge pot hole when a fear I had at work became a reality.

A parent of one my students has some issues and will often take my words, twist them out of context then repeat them to a supervisor.  It was always "yeah, ______ told me you said _____. I am sure there is more to the story..." and we'd talk about what actually happened.  We know this parent doesn't have a good grasp of reality and would report things that weren't entirely based on facts.  I always feared one day this parent would twist my words/actions out of context, report to one of my supervisors and I would end up with some type of repercussion over this difficulty of the truth.

In November, this fear became a reality and what has happened during the last 2 1/2 months has been a nightmare.  I had an anxiety attack so bad over this issue that I thought I may need a trip to the Emergency Room!

After jumping through several hoops, I have been cleared of claims, but the issue still marches on.

Union and EEOC have been involved.  The district has offered to "allow" me to apply for a transfer mid-year.  An empty offer because there are no other positions open at this point in time.  Further, why would I leave eight children who have problems with trust, just so I wouldn't have to deal with this ONE parent?!  Why would the district even think that was an okay solution?  Harm eight students to protect one?

I am not a church-goer but I do believe in God, and that he often has plans that we don't understand. I have prayed for understanding in what it is He wants me to do, as well as acceptance.

I have always had a dream of working with children AND horses, but have always felt this was a pipe dream.  Something that would never be a possibility until I was retired.

When sharing the issues I am having at work with a friend who is the Director at a local Equine Assisted Therapy Center, she told me that I could have a paid position at the center, but it wouldn't be full-time, and they can't offer me health insurance.


So, do I continue with the Same Old Shit, or try Crazy New Shit?

While discussing what's been happening with my Acupuncturist, she stated that it is like I am on a trapeze.  I can swing back and forth and be happy with the swing I am on, but I now have this opportunity to try something new (another swing).  I can grab that swing (the equine position), but will never know what it's like until I let go of the old swing (my current teaching position).

Each time I do some research on the equine position, I am learning more and more positives with it.  I was told by the director of the center, "You will have control over your hours and who you spend your days with.  This will be like owning your own business."

I can apply for grants for my salary (I have received 90% of the grants I have requested as a Special Education teacher in Minnesota).  It will be much like "my own business" as I will have to find clients for the center, but with my connections with the schools, that shouldn't be that difficult.

So, fork in the road, Crazy New Shit?  Here I come!!!


2 comments:

Gracey is not my name.... said...

Wow...just wow...glad that you finally posted...and good luck....

Fiber Jewels said...

Thanks! I have a lot of options, and every time I speak to the Director of the equine center, I hear better and better news! I can write grants for my salary, so I could even end up making pretty close to the same money. I will be much like I have my own business as, part of my job will be finding clients, and I have lots of contacts in the schools.

I'm okay with that! ;-)